Chocolate Pie

Get ready to wow your friends and family. A chocolate pie, similar to French silk, topped with real meringue - and it's way easier than they think it is!

But they don't need to know that.

When I was a sophomore in college, one of my great friends taught me how to make her grandma's chocolate pie. I've translated that into an intelligible, (hopefully) easy-to-follow recipe, and here's the result.

Now, for this recipe, it's very, very important that you have your mise-en-place... That's a French term meaning "everything in place," or, "get your crap together before you start so you don't scald the milk while rummaging in your pantry for the vanilla." Something like that. So, get every ingredient out and open, get all your measuring cups and spoons out, and make sure that the dogs are out/kids are napping/phone is silenced/whatever you need to do to make sure you can concentrate for 10 minutes. It's not hard, but once you start, you can't stop!

Grandma's Chocolate Pie
From: Tosha's grandma
Makes one nine-inch pie

You'll need:
1/4 c flour
3 T cocoa powder
1 1/2 c sugar, divided
3 eggs
2 c milk
3 T butter
1 t vanilla
pie crust (bottom only)

I admit it: I use a pre-made crust. I know, that's totally cheating. And I do make real pie crusts sometimes. Just not this time. I have used both traditional (pastry) crust and graham cracker crust, and they're both good, although I think I prefer the traditional one. *Your crust needs to be baked before you start making the filling.*

Okay. Got everything ready to go? Let's get started.

Step 1: In a bowl, mix the flour, cocoa, and 1 cup of the sugar.

Step 2: Separate your eggs. Nerd alert: I think separating eggs is fun! :) Put the whites in a medium-sized mixing bowl; put your yolks in a small bowl and scramble them.

Step 3: Heat the milk and butter in a saucepan over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally to mix them and to keep the milk from scalding on the bottom. Bring it just to a simmer.

Step 4: Grow a third arm. In all seriousness, this is the tricky part. Keep stirring the milk/butter occasionally while tempering your egg yolks. If you've never done that before, I'll explain: If you added the egg yolks directly to the hot milk and butter, they would immediately cook, and you'd have scrambled eggs floating in your mixture. I love scrambled eggs, but they do not belong in pie. So, to temper them means to gradually raise their temperature by gradually adding small amounts of the hot liquid. So, add a couple spoonfuls of the hot milk/butter to the egg yolks, and stir to combine. Then add a few more, and a few more, and a few more, always gradually and always stirring to combine. (Keep stirring the hot pot on the stove too! Use that third arm!) When have you done enough? Hard to say. A good hint will be when your mixture containing the egg is steaming. When in doubt, add a few more spoonfuls and get it really hot. When the mixture containing the eggs is good and hot, add it back to the hot pan on the stove.

Sorry there are no pictures of that step. I would have had to grow a fourth arm.

Step 5: Stir in the dry ingredients and vanilla. Stir constantly on the heat until it thickens, about 2-4 minutes. Pour into baked pie crust.

Put it in the fridge to chill and set. Congratulations - you just made pudding without a box mix!

Step 6: Now for the meringue. If you own a stand mixer, I hate you. If you don't, I feel your pain.

Add the remaining half cup of sugar to your egg whites and beat, beat, beat with your mixer on high... and keep mixing... and keep mixing... switch arms... mix some more... until, about 15 minutes later (I clocked it), stiff peaks form.

But it's worth the sore arm! Look at those peaks!

Cover the chocolate pudding layer with the meringue, making sure to seal to the edge of the crust. Chill - both you and the pie - it's done!